Entangled in emotions

I took my emotions out of the debate long ago.  This was a result of several conversations where I had mentioned that I felt very hurt when males in my life told me that I couldn’t teach simply because I was a woman.  Instead of kindness and gentleness in return, I received the retort, “Feeling hurt doesn’t make it any more biblical for a woman to teach!”  They discounted my feelings as if God hadn’t made emotions for a reason.  Truth was defined as reason without emotions.  Without a doubt, this line of thinking => the scientific method.  But does it fit the Bible method?  Without emotions, we are robots.  But if God really wanted us to reason without emotions, he would’ve created us devoid of them.

I thought that if I took my emotions out of the debate, then I could present evidence that was logical and acceptable.

But I am coming to terms with the reality that it hurts me to pretend to be an automaton, because I am subtracting something from myself that God purposely added.  The truth is, when it comes to this subject, I am all entangled in emotions.  The injustice makes me sad and angry, inspired to do something and yet discouraged that I’m not getting anywhere — but knowing doing something is better than nothing all at the same time.  Many people say they don’t care about this topic because it doesn’t directly affect them.  Men don’t hit this brick wall, so they can potentially live their whole lives without dealing with this issue.  The women who don’t feel gifted to teach or preach say they don’t feel it’s their battle.  And in truth, it really does seem an issue that is so far removed for most.  It’s hard to get people to care about something that doesn’t seem to impact their lives.

In reality, though, to not fight for the truth means that the whole church is missing out — no — dying from all the voices it is silencing.  For me to stop being angry or stop feeling sad and hurt or anguished over this issue means that I stop fighting passionately.  Fear that I will hurt or offend others means that I will water down the message as I try to make it more palatable to the masses.  But people don’t just sit politely and say child sex trade is bad, they stand up and get livid about it.  The injustice to women should cause the same response.  To do less would take the power out of the message.

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