Dear Carters Staff,

I am a new parent. And as we have been shopping for clothes for our baby, my husband and I have noticed that there’s a very definitive line drawn in the sand: blues are for boys and pinks are for girls. Who says that blue has to be for boys? We both love the color blue and want to buy girl clothes and non-gender specific clothes that are in blues, but we have not been able to find them. Everything blue is geared toward a boy. I found myself trying to find clothes in red, thinking that it would be more gender-neutral (after all, red could go either way, right?), but red clothes are usually mixed with navy blue and have trucks and fire engines on them and meant for boys. (Why can’t shirts with fire trucks on them be for girls too?)

We are both crazy about Carter’s clothes. They are so soft to the touch and most of the items are absolutely adorable! We are loyal consumers. However, we would really appreciate seeing more clothes that can have more flexibility and could be for a boy or for a girl. We have other couple-friends who are parents who feel the same way. We would like our children to grow up knowing that they can be whatever they want to be — for our daughters, especially, that they know that there aren’t ‘boys-only’ gender roles that they are restricted from. Girls can be action heroes too and not have to sit pretty and be princesses if they don’t want to be.

Thanks for reading,
Mary Ann

“While motherhood is a privilege that offers great joys and great challenges, it is important to remain clear about the fact that motherhood is one part of a whole life lived for kingdom purposes.” (Ruth Haley Barton)

This is such an incredibly significant insight. Motherhood is only ONE part of a whole life lived for Kingdom purposes. At least, it better be. God sees it that way. So ought we.

Some would have it that, “This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing.” My whole purpose for existing? You’ve got to be kidding. I really have read this in many different forums (whether Christian devotions, articles, sermons, books) — and it has made me choke on my own spit.

If I’m a woman and don’t marry and don’t have babies, then what? If I’m married and can’t have babies, then what? Isn’t my purpose for existing to worship God and draw in other worshippers?

On reading some of the connotations of what motherhood ought to be (according to hierarchicalists), my refusal to fall prey to these restrictions has, sadly –for awhile, meant an aversion toward and an avoidance of motherhood. There’s been a bit of a wholesale rejection of motherhood, on my part, from the dread of being perceived merely as a Womb and Caretaker. If that’s all I’m gonna be, then I don’t wanna be that. Of course, there’s so much foolishness in this extremist reaction. Just because I don’t believe it is the (only) calling (for my life) doesn’t mean that it can’t be a calling (one of many) in my life. I can enjoy the privilege of motherhood without having to also endorse the hierarchical propaganda that this is my only purpose for existing. I can be a mom and a minister at the same time. I can love my children and they don’t have to be the center of my world. Christ can keep that place. And the revolution can still take place.