Decisions

This is the conclusion of a series that started here.

Many Christians believe that the husband is the head of the household and are baffled by the idea of  cooperative marriage where there is mutual submission.  Who makes the decisions? they ask.  Who wears the pants in your family? they mock.  What do you do if you’re at an impasse? they ponder.  Who is the head of your household then? they’re dumbfounded.

On the flipside, I am baffled by their confusion.  Does that mean they’re never able to eventually come to mutual agreement? I am actually shocked by the thought of this kind of reality.  Perhaps they are too quick to capitulate to the husband’s desires to find out that it is possible to discuss things and not have to default to his wishes over hers.  In our house, we always make our decisions together.

The question about the pants is so patronizing that it hardly ever merits a response.  It really renders me speechless to think that there are people in the world who actually believe that it is emasculating for a man to talk, discuss, communicate, and yield!  Men are really ‘men’ who are secure enough in their identity as a man to know that they don’t have to be domineering in order to be a man.  In our house, our identity is defined by Jesus.

Who is the head of our household? Clearly, the answer is Jesus.  It’s not the husband, it’s not the wife, it’s Jesus.  In our house, Jesus is the spiritual leader, and we both humbly bow, submit and yield to him.  And it works.

Cooperative marriage works.  It doesn’t make it biblical because it works, but it works because it’s biblical.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by territippins on June 28, 2010 at 6:10 am

    It is taught that the marriage relationship is the ‘one’ relationship where, “How can we walk together unless we agree” that can be set aside. The Ephesians 5 controversay will most likely continue on into infinity as those with the patriarchal mindset will always read those verse through authority colored glasses. The fact is the word head can mean submission to an authority or it might not. In the case of in Ephesians the fact that the proceeding verse says, submit one to another’ rules out the submission to an authority paradigm. The word is ‘head’ not ‘headship’ but comp philosophy proponents don’t care about that fact. The word ‘kephale’ simply mean the head on ones shoulder or the first one seized. Headship on the other hand gives one kingly rights and authority and power. The fact that they have been able to effectively exchange one word for another has been detrimental to chrisitan women. And when you point this out, you are accused of not believing what the Bible says, what? The word head is used in a metaphorical sense. If God had wanted to let men know that they were on top and women were on bottom he could have simply used the metaphore, “The husband is the head and the wife is the tail’……….then there would be no doubt. But, instead the author used a head/body metaphore (which does not denote a master/slave relationship) but a relationship of oneness, unity and working together..

    Reply

    • Thanks for your thoughts, territippins. I agree that the problem has been the wrongful exchange of the metaphorical word “head” for “headship”. Also, the insertion of the word “spiritual leader”, which is clearly NOT in the Bible.

      Reply

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